2012年12月8日星期六

每当我想到斯太甫罗根


  比方说,每当我想到斯太甫罗根,我便会联想到某一个妖魔站在高处向我们扔自己撕裂的肠子。在《魔鬼》中发生了地震,这不仅是降临在富于想象力的人头上的大灾难,而是一大半人类被埋葬于其中、永远被消灭的大地震。斯太甫罗根就是陀思妥耶夫斯基,陀思妥耶夫斯基是所有这些矛盾的总和,它们不是使一个人麻痹就是领他爬上高处。没有一个地方太低,他进不去;也没有一个地方太高,他不敢爬上去。遗憾的是我们再也没有机会见到一个被置于神秘的中心的人,他的光芒为我们照亮黑暗的深邃和广大。
When I think of Stavrogin for example, I think of some divine monster standing on a high place and flinging to us his torn bowels. In The Possessed the earth quakes: it is not the catastrophe that befalls the imaginative individual, but a cataclysm in which a large portion of humanity is buried, wiped out forever. Stavrogin was Dostoevski and Dostoevski was the sum of all those contradictions which either paralyze a man or lead him to the heights. There was no world too low for him to enter, no place too high for him to fear to ascend. He went the whole gamut, from the abyss to the stars. It is a pity that we shall never again have the opportunity to see a man placed at the very core of mystery and, by his flashes, illuminating, for us the depth and immensity of the darkness.

  今天我感觉到了自己的血统,我没有必要去求助占星术或查阅家谱表。我对星星上或我的血液里写着什么一无所知,只知道我是由人类的某些神话中的创始人繁衍的。那个把神圣的瓶子举到唇边的人、那个跪在集市上的罪犯、那个发现所有的尸体都会发臭的纯洁的人、那个跳舞时手中发出闪电的疯子、那个撩起长袍朝大地上撒尿的修道士、那个翻遍所有图书馆要找到《圣经》的宗教狂—所有这些人合成了我,所有这些人造成了我的仟侮、我的欣喜。假如我没有人味儿,那是由于我所生活的世界已经超出人性的界线了,那是由于做个有人味儿的人像是在做一件可怜的、令人遗憾的、凄凉悲苦的事情,它受到种种理智限制,受到种种道德规范的制约,由种种老生常谈和这个那个主义固定范围。我将葡萄汁一饮而尽,我从中得到了智慧,不过我的智慧并非来自葡萄,Moncler Jackets For Women,我沉醉也根本不是因为酒……我想绕过那些高大荒芜的山脉,一个人会在那儿渴死、冻死。这就是“超瞬时”历史,就是不存在人、兽、草木的绝对时空,在那儿一个人寂寞得发疯,语言则只是词语而已,那儿的一切都是自由自在的,与时代不谐调的。我想要一个男人、女人、树木都不讲话的世界(因为如今的世界上话讲得太多了)!
Today I am aware of my lineage. I have no need to consult my horoscope or my genealogical chart. What is written in the stars, or in my blood, I know nothing of. I know that I spring from the mythological founders of the race. The man who raises the holy bottle to his lips, the criminal who kneels in the marketplace, the innocent one who discovers that all corpses stink, the madman who dances with lightning in his hands, the friar who lifts his skirts to pee over the world, the fanatic who ransacks libraries in order to find the Word - all these are fused in me, all these make my confusion, my ecstasy. If I am inhuman it is because my world has slopped over its human bounds, because to be human seems like a poor, sorry, miserable affair, limited by the senses, restricted by moralities and codes, defined by platitudes and isms. I am pouring the juice of the grape down my gullet and I find wisdom in it, but my wisdom is not born of the grape, my intoxication owes nothing to wine…

  我想要一个河流能把人载到各地去的世界,不是成为古老传说的河流,而是能叫人同别的男女,同建筑、宗教、植物、动物接触的河流。是上面有船只的河流。人们在这样的河里溺死,并非淹没在神话、传说、书籍和以往的尘土中,而是淹没在时间、空间的历史中。我要能造出莎士比亚和但丁这样的大海的河流,要不会在以往的空泛中干涸的河流、大海。对了,让我们有更多的海吧,新的、挡住过去的大海,创造新的地质构造、新的地形景观、陌生而且令人恐惧的大陆的大海,在摧毁的同时也保护我们的大海,我们可以在上面航行,去探求新发现、新视野的大海。让我们得到更多的大海、更多的动乱、战争和大毁灭吧。让我们得到一个男男女女大腿间都装有发电机的世界,cheap jeremy scott adidas wings,一个充满自然的愤怒、激情、行动、戏剧、梦幻、疯狂的世界,一个孕生欣喜而不是干放屁的世界。我坚信今天比以往任何时候都更应寻求写一本书,哪怕它只有一大页呢。我们必须寻找碎片、碎屑、脚趾甲,任何含有矿物质、任何得以使肉体和灵魂复活的东西。
I want to make a detour of those lofty arid mountain ranges where one dies of thirst and cold, that "extratemporal" history, that absolute of time and space where there exists neither man, beast, nor vegetation, where one goes crazy with loneliness, with language that is mere words, where everything is unhooked, ungeared, out of joint with the times. I want a world of men and women, of trees that do not talk (because there is too much talk in the world as it is!, of rivers that carry you to places, not rivers that are legends, but rivers that put you in touch with other men and women, with architecture, religion, plants, animals - rivers that have boats on them and in which men drown, drown not in myth and legend and books and dust of the past, but in time and space and history,Moncler Sale. I want rivers that make oceans such as Shakespeare and Dante, rivers which do not dry up in the void of the past. Oceans, yes! Let us have more oceans, new oceans that blot out the past, oceans that create new geological formations, new topographical vistas and strange,HOMEPAGE, terrifying continents, oceans that destroy and preserve at the same time, oceans that we can sail on, take off to new discoveries, new horizons. Let us have more oceans, more upheavals, more wars, more holocausts. Let us have a world of men and women with dynamos between their legs, a world of natural fury, of passion, action, drama, dreams, madness, a world that produces ecstasy and not dry farts. I believe that today more than ever a book should be sought after even if it has only one great page in it: we must search for fragments, splinters, toenails, anything that has ore in it, anything that is capable of resuscitating the body and soul.

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